A New Professors Rant on College Students which then becomes a Mini Van Commercial

I have to laugh when my students call me Mr or Dr. Bray. Since I teach mostly masters students with a few juniors and seniors thrown in for fun I look at them and wonder in my mind--"when did I become Mr/Dr.?" Was it the four children that turned me into Mr./Dr? Was it my sweet, hot wife who is turning forty this year? Is it the minivan? (Should I admit that outloud?) Since this is my journal I don't really want my posterity to know about the minivan, will they think of me differently now? The worst part about the van is that I went from driving a convertible mercedes to a Chevy Venture Van. Make that a maroon chevy venture van. Maybe it is time for a mid-life crisis so I can reaquire a better vehicle. You know its bad when the kids ask to take the "other" car and not the van when we are loading in to go to school.


Now the best part about this whole van thing is that today I was watching television while my oil was getting changed on the maroon chevy venture van and the news caster did a quick spot light on the new town and country minivan. It comes complete with 2nd row seats that swivel around so that the 3rd rown seat and the second row seat individuals can look at each other and have a conversation. How fun would that be? Maybe even playing cards as the middle arm rest turns into a small table. Like a small RV. My heart began to beat with excitement. But that's not all--included in this new and exciting minivan is a back up camera (easier to target the 12 year old boy down the street--i want to see his last expression in the little mini camera attached to the dashboard as my back bumper meets his filthy little mouth--wonder if they have tevo for those back up cameras) Just kidding!!! I don't want to see it happen-how barbaric plus it would make it harder to feign it was just an accident). Ouch that sounds so mean! Back to the minivan--once you get thinking about it your mind just can't leave the subject. But it didn't stop there. They had to mention the two DVD players that could play separate (yes let me say it again) separate movies just in case your children don't like the same movie. (Which never, ever happens in our house). And to top it off it comes complete with full airbags, electric third row seats that you just push a button and they fall flat into the floor and you push another button and the back hatch goes up and down and then there are two more buttons that open both side doors and one of the doors even has a window that goes up and down. (For those of you lucky enough to have a mini van the sliding doors never have a window that goes up and down). All this for the starting cost of 21,000 and loaded to the hilt for 36,000 I was enthralled with this new minivan and it was at the moment that I turned to the lady next to me and said, "how cool is that van?"...when I heard those words leave my very own mouth I gasped in utter horror, realizing my middle age was coming out in the excitement of the minivan accesory and options moment. Could I really have said such vile words? So I turned back to her and said, "You never heard me say that and I hope I never see you again in my life." She just stared at me--which at first I took as a compliment to how good I looked today, but then realized she either didn't understand what I said or she couldn't think because she was still ticked off at herself for buying the fuel pump flush for $100.00 that everyone knew she didn't need, but got talked into by the 17 years old attendant who just made $75.00 commission off of the $100.00 fuel pump flush sell. Let me attach a picture of the new Town and Country. Okay--I was just going to attach one, but to fully feel the luxury of this new minivan I have attached more.

Cool--huh.

Bad van rant--need to get back to the students. I am amazed at how bright and articulate some of my students are. They write incredible papers and really think about the subjects we are discussing. They are involved in class and provide a great learning experience. And then there are those who somewhat lack the previous skills. Let me just leave you with one example. Woops--sorry have to make this a cliff hanger. We are leaving for Sea World tomorrow (for Fall break) and I need to go pack and it is nearly 11:00 p.m.