I just want to Hang with you

This month I decided I wanted to take each of the girls out individually to lunch. Just pick them up from school, see where they want to go to lunch and just hang out for an hour or so. I was surprised by the outcome of this little decision. Now, I usually go once a month and eat lunch at school with the Olivia and Elle who are still in Elementary school. But taking each one out made all the difference. I must admit I saw my girls in a whole new light when it was just me and them, all by ourselves without any other siblings, Mom or distractions. We actually got to talk.

I think I learned more about my girls in that one hour than I have in months of living with them. It will now become a norm to do this. I would love to share what I learned but that would be sharing private information. I don't know if the girls had as much fun as I did, but it sure was great to spend some time with each one.

A couple of things I learned from trying this: (Can't you just tell I like lists!)

1. They get to decide where they want to eat. Even if I absolutely hate it I pretend like it is my most favorite restaurant in the world.

2. They can order anything they like--even a dessert.

3. We have to sit somewhere where we can talk and we have to be facing each other.

4. We have to hold hands the whole time we are together.

5. I look in their eyes the whole time they are talking and I say little in response. (This can be quite difficult for me as a man, as listening for an extended period of time is against our nature)

6. I don't lecture. Not one little bit. (Chloe tells me to save it for my students)

7. I do everything in my power to make that hour as special as can be--and I can only spend money on the lunch--so everything else has to be from the heart and brain.

8. I never cancel. Even when I get a call from my work friends to go eat at my favorite sushi restaurant for free.

9. Whatever we talk about is between dad and daughter. Unless Gale uses her native Chinese torture methods to get me to talk. But I'm pretty tough.

10. I tell them I love them about every 10 minutes until they tell me to stop.

11. I make sure they know how much I like their friendship. Yes, I have to be Dad and get them to do their chores, homework and piano but I like them as individuals.

I am going to have to keep this tradition going. It is amazing how Gale is so good at talking with the girls and how easy it is for her. I have to resort to said tactics to talk with my girls!

Home from New York City

Where have the days gone? I haven't posted in nearly two weeks. Things have been crazy and hectic. I sometimes don't know where the times goes. This past week I was in New York City to meet with some network executives about the show. I was able to rub shoulders with some "big wigs" from the children's television world. The head of Disney, Discovery Kids, National Geographic kids, WB kids, PBS, Nickelodeon etc. just to name a few were all there and I was able to meet and talk with them. But that is getting ahead of myself.

I hate fear. It seems like I make choices in my life that constantly put me in the realm of feeling fear. I don't like it and think I have a lesson that I need to learn about fear. I know where fear comes from and the outcome of fear is never a good one so I find myself dealing with this emotion. As I flew out to New York I thought I was going to have a full grand mal seizure complete with a nervous breakdown. I was full of fear. I was going to meet with all these network executives about our show and I couldn't get out of mind the realization that all of the hardwork, the money, the time that went into making the show could all be for naught if the network executives turned down the show. It was the most horrifying feeling. Much like what strangulation would feel like I assume. I was gripped. So I kept on talking myself through it and reminding myself that Gale and I knew this is the path that we are supposed to be on at this moment in our lives and I had to be full of faith and trust...and throw in a little self confidence to boot. (Which for those who know me--self confidence is not something that I usually lack!)

I am always telling the girls that when you fear something, just go and do it, because it will never turn out as bad as you think it is going to. Well, I should listen to my own advice. The week went great. I got so much great feedback about the show, I have some very important meetings with some networks coming up now to discuss the show and how it fits with certain networks, along with a million new contacts and opportunities for our show and its distribution. None of my fears were founded in any truth--just in my insecurities. I guess when you really care about something and really want to do well the thought of failure in this area can be paralyzing. I have to laugh as when I worked for corporate America I did really well, but it wasn't something that I wanted to do well in, so it just didn't mean as much to me.

The other funny realization was as I was sitting in the meetings and discussing children's television with one of the creators of "Hannah Montana" and "High School Musical" she made a comment that she couldn't wait for the day to be over and to go to bed. It was at this moment that I realized she was just working her job. All of these executives were just doing their job like everyone else in the world. I found myself laughing at my fear, and wondering why in the world had I been scared of talking to these people. They were just doing their job, looking for a new great show. That was all I was doing as well...just pitching my new great show. Not the ominous meetings that I thought they would be. As I went to bed that night I had to laugh and wonder to myself how many times I have held myself back because of my fear. I also wondered how I could teach my children to not let fear stand in the way of their accomplishing their goals and dreams.

The only down part of the whole week was missing Gale and the girls and being away during Valentines. What a bummer that was. It was the first Valentines for us to be apart in our 16 years of marriage. Can't let that happen again!

So for a few funny observations from my trip:

1. New York has to be one of my favorite cities in the world. I just like walking around and watching people.

2. New York has the best food in the whole country. I think I could have spent some serious money on somes serious good restaurants. This trip I sure missed the corporate expense account.

3. I'm claustrophobic. After four days in the city I was feeling like I needed to see the sun and the sky before all the towering buildings squished me like a roach. Am I becoming an Oklahoma boy who needs to see the sky from one horizon to the next. I can't even think of a building over 3 stories within 20 miles of our house in Oklahoma! Next thing I know I am going to move to five acres and start raising chickens the way I'm going.

4. I don't like other peoples germs. If you are walking past me and I don't know you, please don't touch me or breathe on me. Unless you are a children's network executive or a movie star.

Times are changing

I love change and excitement--but there comes a time when I don't want things to change. Such as today. Yesterday as Gale and I were heading out on our Saturday night date I told her I had the feeling that things were going to change at church. Well, we arrived today at church and lurking in the sidelines waiting for me to arrive was a member of the bishopric. I am now officially out of Primary. I had the best calling in the church and it slipped through my fingers. I played the piano for primary. Let me list all of the great things about my calling (past calling that is) 1. Working with Brother Rudd--Past Stake President who is by far the best primary chorister the church has ever seen. He had the kids eating out of his hands.

2. Having my stash of treats. I was behind the piano and no one could see. So I brought my snacks, a can of pop and just chowed during primary. Happy is me--Happy is me! (primary song in case you didn't get it)

3. My wife was the Primary President. It was lots of fun to have my wife, and all of my four kids in Primary. We always had a good time.

4. The best lessons that are taught in the church are taught in Primary. It seemed on a weekly basis I was really touched and edified by the gospel principles that were being taught.

5. I really liked spicing up the Primary songs. Especially when it was spotlight time. Nothing is better than a good piano drumroll when it comes to spotlight time.

Those are just a few. Well, once Gale was released Sis Bushman was called and she ousted me before I could get the piano bench warm. But I'm not bitter----To be honest I think it had to do with the bitterness her husband feels towards me because he can't beat me at ping-pong. No matter how much he sweats, fights and screams he can't beat me (unless it is past midnight and I'm exhausted--then I am weak!).

The other big change is my two oldest daughters Chloe and Olivia. I hate to watch them grow up so fast. I want them to stay my little girls, but as I watch them grow up I am amazed at what incredible women they are becoming and what talents they possess. Must take after their mother. Who thought fatherhood of four girls could be so fun!!

Colorado ski trip

So last minute we decided to head up to Colorado and visit our friend's the Allreds at their cabin. They have been inviting us for the last two years, but the thought of a twelve hour drive with four kids never really excited me! The Orgill's solved that problem by deciding to go as well and carpooling together. At this point I was all game----everyone was leaving on Thursday and I had to teach on Thursday night so I couldn't leave til Friday morning. Gale decided to leave with the Orgill's and I would fly up on Friday morning with a free flight we had just earned and we would all drive back together. I could handle a one way trip.

Gale, the Girls and the Orgill's had a great non-eventful trip on the way up and it was fun non-stop from there on out. We snowboarded, skiied, hot tubbed, played games, read, slept (ok-the kids didn't sleep), hiked to Allred rock (think that name was made up) and ate non stop. The grocery trips ended up totaling 7 or 8 times in 4 days.

I am so glad we went. Our family had such a good time. It was nice to catch up with Darin and Lori. We haven't spent much time with them since they left Oklahoma, and we couldn't stop laughing about all the memories of the 5 years that they were here. Our favorite trip family the Orgills made for more fun and you couldn't have had a better weekend. Gale and I have decided that the Orgill's are party people. You couldn't ask for better friends to have. They are always planning something fun and we are lucky to just tag along and join in the excitement. The kids got along great and of course I dominated in Wacky-six. I think I may have to retire---it just isn't fun winning all the time! (Yes I'm rubbing it in.)


Chloe, Olivia and Elle love to ski and Ava is begging to start, so we may have to make one more ski trip! I can't believe how good they are for only going once or twice a year. The only drawback was that all of the families seemed to have a plethora of girls and a lacking of boys (we needed to have the Cordy's there.) The dancing and music (same song) did get a little much at 11:00 p.m. It is funny to have pictures of the girls in swimsuits at a winter cabin!
And I have to mention my birthday cake. I will put a picture of the cake on. It was the best birthday cake that any person could ever have. It was seven layers and unbelievable. It was also gone in one day. Yes, I did horde. That made a very special birthday for me!

Other funny moments include:

1. Lori looking up the word coif because she didn't believe that I was using the word correctly. We both ended up being correct! And for the minute after when I thought I was going to cry I was laughing so hard.

2. Me flying down the slope and screaming to the lift guy to not let Easton (6 year old Allred) on the chair lift by himself. I'm thinking what an idiot the lift guy is as Easton just starts to hop on the lift by himself.

3. All the adults getting ready to leave after sacrament meeting (yes we went to church) and the girls all wanting to stay for sunday school. (They saw a cute boy and wanted to stay--too bad he was under twelve and still in primary and not old enough for their class)

4. Karen disappearing during Sunday dinner and leaving Richard to burn the noodles. (Yes he went to medical school and residency and he still can burn noodles.)

5. Late night card playing with the adults. Made us feel like we were 15 again. Couldn't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

6. Gale playing Wacky six--she is so territorial (she always has to be in the middle) and she still doesn't win. I still love you...

Thanks again to the Allred's for inviting us and to the Orgill's for driving the trip with us. I have attached some pictures and will attach more here soon when we get them from the other families!

In the Studio

Chloe and Olivia are having the time of their life recording their first song. Chloe wrote it and Chloe and Olivia both sing and do the harmonies. It has been so much fun to build it from scratch. We have some great people working with the girls. Thanks Ryan and Eric! You guys are really talented!

The Dissertation

Well, the dissertation continues on! I am getting close to being halfway through my interviews and I must say that it has been the most incredible experience for me to interview these men. My topic is Men who make a career change in their thirties. I am interviewing men who left their jobs by their own choice (can't be fired, laid-off, etc). The stories have been fascinating, but more than that just getting to know these people has been a life changing experience. In interviewing these men I really see how we each create our own lifes. I would love to share some stories, but you will just have to wait for the 300 page dissertation to come (like anyone would ever read it but me and my committee and only because they have to.)

One of my best interviews was today. A 37 year old man who left his job to start his own business complete with a full house of kids and bills etc. I let him know that his name would be confidential and I would have to make up a name for him and did he have any favorites. His response--I would like to be called Chris Bray. I didn't find it very funny.

I put this post in here, because I need to keep on going strong so I can finish in the next 6 months of so. If people know about it then it keeps me interviewing and writing and hopefully finishing soon! and no I will not go by Dr. Bray--except for Ryan Bushman. He must always call me Dr. Bray--why? Something to do with my superior domination of him in Ping Pong and Pfooz Ball and maybe I will make Richard Orgill call me Dr. Bray too. Since he had to go to 10 million years of medical school and I only had to go for 4 or 5.

A sad moment that ends in happiness

I love Postum. Here are the reasons why I love Postum.

1. It is the best thing at night during the freezing Oklahoma winters.

2. Made right it tastes better than hot chocolate and there are no carbs.

3. Postum makes me tired for bed.

4. Postum reminds me of staying at my Grandma's house.

5. Postum just makes me happy

Right around December 15th we found out that Postum was not going to be made any more. We called the company (POST) and tried to find some, then went on the internet to find some but had no luck. We were POSTUM-less. It was a few dark days.

But the new year of 2008 brought some great news. We had found a place to get Postum. I would love to write it, but I can't. It's top secret. I can't give my sources away. Needless to say over 21 bottles were purchased and more are on the way. I must stockpile for the future. For those postum drinkers out there I am willing to share a hot cup with you once in a while, but I will not give you one of my new bottles. It really is the small things in life that make us happy.